Life Unplugged

Life Unplugged - A hearty CONFESSION !

Now a days a trend of confession is setting in through the FB pages and I kind of like the idea when FB can actually play the role of the God father and without any revelation of identity, the person gets to know the view of the mass ( form of GOD ) regarding what they think and opine about the sin.

A little confession I too have to make - The list is long not a little one still it can be treated as small gesture of admitting the mistakes I had done -

1. I did not do anything to save my Mom from death. I was such a fool to believe miracles happen and someday a magic will spread its spell and my mom will be fine as before. But certainly it didn't and Mom went somewhere unknown. I wish to go back in time and spend some time with her the way my dad and brother did. I feel guilty of not being with her when she needed me as I never knew this could be dreadful incident which will last forever !
2. I don't support my Dad the way I should. When I should be more involved with the household chores and homely stuff, I spent my days lazily in pretense of tiredness of office work. I am a horrible daughter to count. At the age of sixty, when he does all the work without uttering a single word and with a smile on his face, it stirs me up inside thinking how he landed with a child like me? But all this feelings fades away when I am busy with nonsensical stuff !
3. I was never an up to the mark sibling. When I should be more giving, more loving towards my younger brother, all I know how to snatch his share (In food) and thrust all my tension upon him. He is such a darling to help me always but I should not be doing that almost every time. But yes, I do. 
4. I have never made great friends. I have very unpleasant mood swing disorder. I hate interacting much. I hate regular socializing. I love virtual word and invisible attention. Its not that I don't have friends but I don't think I can ever help them the way they do.
5. I loved someone who hardly knew what love is. And I loved him more than my self respect, my family and my life. In course of loving him, I changed myself, my thought process, my ambitions and sacrificed my dreams to fit into his life. But destiny played its trick and I turned out to be the victim of a foul play.
6. I failed at crucial stages of my career where people generally works harder and leaps ahead in life. I acted immaturely and red inked my career graph.
7. I gave up my creative skills in the chaos of life to grab an opportunity which can support me financially, whether I like it or not. I landed up in such a place where glass ceilings are all I could found and breathing is almost impossible.
8. I took up some adventurous activities to pacify my fluttering heart and myriads of negativity brooding inside. But I had never became the number one. It disheartened me to among a few not the shining one out.

Still I am in love with this life, its surprises and lessons. I will continue to do show and this year perhaps I will bring a change to myself so that a better person can see the lights of the day after.

- Elora
Unfolding Emotions !