For every time

For every time you wanted it to be over, I was praying for it to keep going.

For every time you asked me to back off, I came a little closer to hold you tight.

For every time you wanted to erase me of your mind, I knocked, begged then barged in to your heart without permission.

For every time you told its not working out, I assured you with a smiley that we are doing just fine.

For every time you wanted to be away from me, I chose to hang on to your cute face ignoring the harsh words.

For every time you blocked me from your life, I searched for reasons to crawl back in again.

For every time you critisized me out of the blue, I pretended not to hear it silently wiping tears and smiling like an idiot.

For every time you said no to me for small demands, I wanted to hear your spontaneous yes'es' and how.

For every time you seemed unsure of us together, I acted as if I was never surer of anything in life.

For every time you gave me excuses for your actions that pained me, I gulped down my anger knowing how indispensable you are to me.

For every time you prioritised others over me, I kept pushing down people in my list only for you.

For every time you made me cry rivers and have sleepless nights, I felt an ocean full of love and warmth just looking at you smiling in pictures.

For every time you said I would hurt in future, I asked you to hold this broken girl once before she falls apart in present.

But I guess but hope not someday, in the process of trying and failing hard, may be I will start saying no, to your every yes I always wanted to hear.